Positive Reinforcement

At 10am I loaded all three kids in the van with a full day of errands and returns ahead of me.  Before we pulled out of the driveway, I explained the "point system" to the boys.  I've read about positive reinforcement, so my system was created in a way where they could only earn points and would never lose points. Earn ten points and you can choose ice cream or a container of Flarp for endless bathroom humor.

Wise Guy was all about the point system and was bound to earn his ten points by lunch time.  Whopper was off to a great start with three points on the board before we reached Charlottesville. The problem with positive reinforcement is when your child is NOT being positive.  What happens when your child is being a giant pain in the ass?  You are supposed to find the the small moment when he is making a decision that is slightly similar to your expectation and let him know he is doing GREAT.

This was my problem in Kmart.  Whopper is in that stage when he thinks it's hilarious to run away and hide from me.  You know the stage when they crouch in the furthest corner of the minivan and will not get in their seat until you literally have to chase your child through the vehicle?  The Kmart in Charlottesville has an alcove inside the store where they park shopping carts.  There were about 8 long rows of shopping carts lined up in the parking alcove this afternoon when Whopper got the great idea to squeeze between two long rows and crawl under all of the carts into the corner of the alcove.  This is when I wished I had designed a system where points were taken away for bad behavior.  I gave the familiar count to three and was met with no progress from my giggling 2 year old.  We sat at a stalemate for a good five minutes before I gave a desperate threat claiming that someone was going to park their shopping cart and trap him in forever. I guess he loves me after all because his head popped up from behind the carts.  I coached him out of the carts and grabbed his arm with a death grip.  We proceeded to a bench where I cleaned his filthy hands with 15 sanitizing wipes and told him all the reasons he should not crawl under the shopping carts.

We continued our day using the point system with one major difference; Whopper was never allowed to roam freely and was always strapped into a shopping cart or stroller.  He earned 9 points before he fell asleep and Wise Guy earned 10 points and chose a bottle of Flarp.

The Quiet Before the Storm

We've all had those moments in life when everything was going exactly as we planned.  With three young kids, these moments are far and few between, so I cherish each one.

October 16th had been on my calendar for over a month; the day I was taking all 3 kids to the doctor by myself.  It would save me a lot of time to combine flu shots with Lil Bird's checkup, but the logistics of convincing each child to go into the office and get a shot and then keep them quiet while I tried to talk to the doctor was not something I had figured out yet.  I was prepared for a giant, embarrassing catastrophe!

The adventure began at 1:40pm when I left school early with Wise Guy and met Tyson to pick up the other two.  After the 50 minute drive to the doctor's office, Whopper was asleep.  I couldn't believe how well the visit with the doctor went.  At the end, Wise Guy was helping Whopper pick out the best sticker and didn't even request a sticker for himself.

After such a lovely doctor's visit we decided to walk to the Crozet Library.  The kids were GREAT in the library.  I've never heard Whopper whisper in my life, but he miraculously learned how!  After playing with the trains, they cleaned up without being told.  I didn't have to chase anyone or raise my voice!  When I go to the library, I usually glare at the mother who has more than one well behaved kid as I drag my kids out by the arms.  I can never figure out how other mom's look so put together and have children who sit perfectly still and quiet.  I was starting to feel proud but I knew this streak of good luck was almost over and we still had several stops to go.

Next, we stopped at my Aunt's house to say hello.  They continued to be reasonably well behaved and well mannered.  Lil Bird didn't make a peep and the boys played hide and seek.  Whopper did soak himself in the garden fountain despite the 55 degree weather but considering his love of swimming, that didn't surprise me (see earlier mud puddle post).  This was my cue to change his clothes and leave before things fell apart.

Now we were getting hungry and I started wracking my brain for the best place to take these three for dinner.  I decided on Jayson's Deli solely because they have ice cream which is the perfect medium of bribery.  Before we went inside, we have "the talk" about how to behave in a restaurant.  Stay with mommy, sit in your seat, use inside voices, etc.  They worked hard for their ice cream cones!  I strutted out of Jayson's Deli feeling great!  Maybe I've actually figured out this whole mom of three thing!

After I loaded them into the car Tyson called and asked me to to through the drive through to pick up some food for him and his dad who've been building a fence all day.  No problem!  I've totally got this!  After all of our adventures, a trip through the drive through will be a piece of cake.

This is when bad luck struck!  Wren was getting a little fussy but it was the kind of fussy that is resolved as soon as the vehicle starts moving and she falls asleep.  Everything would have been fine if we could have picked up our food and gotten back on the road, but McDonalds ran out of cheeseburgers!  Seriously!  They didn't have any cheeseburgers ready so I had to pull to the side and WAIT while they cooked Tyson's burgers!  And that's when the quiet before the storm ended!  Luckily, I was in such a good mood that I just smiled and laughed about my current reality.

Here is a glimpse into my ride home.  Whopper is crying because he doesn't like crying.

White Lies

 

He was so excited to open the card board box with holes punched into the top and show me what he had caught.  A baby rabbit sat terrified inside the box.  Wise Guy kept him for a few hours and we talked about how the baby needed his mommy and returned him to the same place in the field where he had found him.  Later, we checked to make sure the little bunny had found it's way back home.  From that day on, Wise Guy has been begging for a pet rabbit.  Just like every kid, he promised to take great care of the bunny, give it water and food daily and love it forever.  My hubby can't say no to these sweet smiles so they came home with "Clover."

Wise Guy was thrilled to have a new buddy.  After dinner, he and Whopper were on the porch playing with the bunny as we cleaned up the kitchen.  When we checked on them, we found Wise Guy wailing on his swing.  The bunny had hopped off the porch and by the time the boys ran around to get him, he had disappeared.  Surely, the tiny bunny couldn't have moved very fast or very far so we set out to find him.  With one weeping child, a baby on my hip and an excited two year old we searched into the night.  The whole time, Whopper never stopped talking, "Bun Bun!  Whaya is Bun Bun?  He shuwd be home fow dinnaw soon!  Bun Bun!..." Bun Bun never came home for dinner. So we reassured Wise Guy that it wasn't his fault and Clover was living with all of the other bunnies in the woods.  The next day we drove back to Schuyler to buy another bunny.

The Bunny Man was very understanding of our situation.  He sold us a second bunny, "Little Clover" who looks exactly like the first bunny, only smaller.  Bunny Man explained that this bunny was the runt and needed special attention because he was more fragile.  With this in mind we headed home with plans to take especially good care of "Little Clover."  We talked on the way home about how things aren't always replaceable and if something happened to this bunny we wouldn't get another one.  Wise Guy has been obsessed with the little guy, carrying him all over the farm, taking him to do chores and to the shop.  He never puts him down in the grass and makes sure to stop and give him water throughout the day.  The little bunny never leaves his sight unless he is securely locked in his cage.

Tonight, we headed to Applebee's for dinner to take advantage of their kids eat free night.  Luckily, Wise Guy passed out on the way home and was carried inside so he didn't have to see what we saw.  When we went to check on the bunny, we found a black snake in his cage instead of a bunny!  I can't believe it!  The hubby and I wanted to cry about the bunny and about the devastation our son was going to endure.  How can we possibly explain to our son that a snake ate his bunny?  Clearly, this s a situation that calls for a white lie.  So we searched online and found Bunny Man's phone number and called him even though it was nearly 10pm.  Hubby arranged to be at Bunny Man's house at 5:40am to buy a third bunny and return it to the cage before the boys wake up.  He has nearly 300 bunnies but doesn't have another small blue and white one so this one will be a little larger.  We plan to tell Wise Guy he has been taking such good care of his bunny that it grew into a bigger bunny.

I must admit, I originally thought a man who has 300 bunnies must be a little strange.  But Bunny Man has been very understanding and incredibly kind to us.  Now, I would hate to know what Bunny Man thinks of the family who comes back for their 3rd bunny in 3 days!  I'm hoping this goes well and praying our 3rd bunny is a keeper.

 

The Best Kind of Love

One of the greatest things about kids is their honesty.  Their emotions are always real and worn on the outside, easy for others to see.  Some of those emotions wear me thin but it melts my heart to see the true love shared between siblings. 

I wasn't sure how Whopper would react to a new baby in the house.  He demands a lot of attention at times and I thought he would probably be jealous and maybe take it out on the Lil' Bird.  I never expected him to be so enthralled by her!  My tough, skinned knee, dirt eating, rough guy turns into a gentle and sweet big brother every time he is close to her.  It's amazing!

Wise Guy is equally in love with Lil' Bird.  A few days ago she and I woke up first and I laid her down on a blanket on the living room floor.  First, Wise Guy woke up and laid next to her a few minutes to say hello and give her a snuggle before turning on cartoons.  A few minutes later, Whopper woke up and went straight to Lil' Bird to say "good morning" and snuggle.  Like I said, my heart melts!  

I've been taking snapshots of Whopper and Lil' Bird over the past week because they are so stinking cute.  Whopper tells me he wants to "see her."  I'm not exactly sure what he means, but he isn't satisfied until they are so close their noses are touching.  He holds her hand in the stroller and even stays close by when he plays with his tractors.  Yesterday, he sat on his knees and held her while she was swinging for 15 minutes.  

The addition of Lil Bird to our family has brought forth new aspects of my sons' personalities.  I have seen them express their love to her in many different ways, from nurturing to playing to protecting.  Not only does it make me love them more but it reminds me how simple it can be to show someone you care. 

Everlasting Mud Puddles

I'm all for playing in the rain and jumping in mud puddles.  There have been occasions when I've taken Wise Guy and Whopper outside solely for the purpose of puddle jumping.  However, I'm not a fan of the everlasting puddle outside my house.  In our driveway there is a drain that is not functioning properly which leads to a GIANT mud puddle every time it rains.  After most puddles have dried in the Virginia heat, this special puddle remains full of stagnant water collecting bugs of all sorts.

Whopper is two and is destined to be a locksmith or an escape artist.  The child can get himself out of any type of locked door or "childproof" gate.  Now that I have Lil' Bird, who is 1 month old, I have given up on the constant battle in our house between me trying to keep him indoors and him breaking out.  He was already winning the battle.

Needless to say, if there is water in the puddle, Whopper heads straight for it.  I can count on him to wade into the puddle up to his knees regardless of whether he's barefoot, wearing church clothes or in his new shoes.  On occasion, he has been known to swim in the puddle, submersing his entire body and leaning his head back to wet his hair.  It is also great fun to play with toys and shovels in the puddle.   Wise Guy is not keen on getting dirty so he stays out of the puddle for the most part.  However, the dirtier Whopper gets, the more hysterically Wise Guy laughs.  Then he runs inside to inform me of his brother's misbehavior.

Lately, we have a storm almost every evening and the puddle is growing.  Whopper is getting used to having his clothes stripped outdoors and receiving a spray down via the garden hose.  The bath tub is so dirty it's embarrassing and laundry is impossible.

Let the Hoopla Begin!

Living on a working farm with two boys and a baby generates plenty of stories. A friend of mine recently suggested I start a blog to record the many stories that I am often sharing with her at work.  Writing for an audience is not something I feel comfortable with, so this blog is being written primarily for the benefit of my family.  I've found that I quickly forget the funny things my kids say or the stages of their lives when they do ridiculous things.  Now everything will be written down for them to read later and for anyone else who finds it entertaining.  

I was going to start with a story but the baby is stirring so it will have to wait.