At 10am I loaded all three kids in the van with a full day of errands and returns ahead of me. Before we pulled out of the driveway, I explained the "point system" to the boys. I've read about positive reinforcement, so my system was created in a way where they could only earn points and would never lose points. Earn ten points and you can choose ice cream or a container of Flarp for endless bathroom humor.
Wise Guy was all about the point system and was bound to earn his ten points by lunch time. Whopper was off to a great start with three points on the board before we reached Charlottesville. The problem with positive reinforcement is when your child is NOT being positive. What happens when your child is being a giant pain in the ass? You are supposed to find the the small moment when he is making a decision that is slightly similar to your expectation and let him know he is doing GREAT.
This was my problem in Kmart. Whopper is in that stage when he thinks it's hilarious to run away and hide from me. You know the stage when they crouch in the furthest corner of the minivan and will not get in their seat until you literally have to chase your child through the vehicle? The Kmart in Charlottesville has an alcove inside the store where they park shopping carts. There were about 8 long rows of shopping carts lined up in the parking alcove this afternoon when Whopper got the great idea to squeeze between two long rows and crawl under all of the carts into the corner of the alcove. This is when I wished I had designed a system where points were taken away for bad behavior. I gave the familiar count to three and was met with no progress from my giggling 2 year old. We sat at a stalemate for a good five minutes before I gave a desperate threat claiming that someone was going to park their shopping cart and trap him in forever. I guess he loves me after all because his head popped up from behind the carts. I coached him out of the carts and grabbed his arm with a death grip. We proceeded to a bench where I cleaned his filthy hands with 15 sanitizing wipes and told him all the reasons he should not crawl under the shopping carts.
We continued our day using the point system with one major difference; Whopper was never allowed to roam freely and was always strapped into a shopping cart or stroller. He earned 9 points before he fell asleep and Wise Guy earned 10 points and chose a bottle of Flarp.
